This guy comes back from a holiday in the Amazon jungle. He shows his wife a large frog. "What the hell is that?" the wife demands. "Oh, it's amazing, it's a frog that can give blowjobs!" he gleefully announces. "What am I supposed to do with it?" snaps the wife. "Teach it to cook and then fuck off" the man responds...
Sorry, it just appealed to my sense of humour.
Anyhoo, let me entertain bore you with a story about my day. As many of you know I've been working from home lots recently. I prefer this as:
a) The facilities are better
b) It doesn't require a long walk, a bus ride, and then another long walk to get there
c) Everyone here is witty and intelligent
d) I'm honestly more productive
There are only two buses per day to where I work. I can't understand why such a high profile company has moved to such a shit hole of a suburb. So anyways, I decided to work from home again and got started about 6am. About 9 I got an email asking if I could go in. Bah! A bus was out of the question so I decided I'd use my transport card to get a city kitty part of the way and then pay a taxi for the rest of the way.
A city kitty is a boat by the way. Some of you may be aware that Brisbane is also known as "The River City" and Translink utilise this by offering a great water taxi / catamaran service. Technically it's City Cat, but everyone in Aus refers to feline cats as kitties, and of course that rhymes with city. Hence I always know them as city kitty's.
I got the Kitty as far up the river as it goes and then I prepared to call a taxi to get the rest of the way. Then I realised I only had $15 in change in my pocket but I figured it wouldn't cost much more than that. But I hadn't eaten for a day and I figured I really should keep some money aside to buy something putrid from the food van that provides the only food at our HQ.
I came up with a cunning plan. I counted out $9 in change and stuck it in a side pocket of my rucksack. I spotted a taxi at the lights but he had a fair, so I just called the number on the side of his car and prayed for a happy driver. My prayer was answered! I chatted to the bloke and made him laugh. Then, when the meter reached $8 I said "SHIT! I've left my wallet at home! Hang on, I think I've got some money in this pocket..." and counted it up.
I told him I'd better stop at $9 and walk the rest of the way (Which I could have done btw, it would have only taken about 20 mins or so but it was SO hot). The plan worked perfectly: "Nah mate, you just sit tight and I'll take ya the rest of the way, it's not like we're busy today anyway..." Yay!
He took me right to the door of the office and I thanked him profusely. I went into the office and there was a temp sat at reception. I was struck by inspiration. Our company is very large and has very many visitors. We use taxis all the time, our front door is like a taxi rank sometimes. I boldly walked up to the temp and said "I've been meaning to ask for some time, can you update the corporate taxi number to XXXXXX pls? Thank you" and walked away. I thought no more of it.
I left the office about 3.30 this avo for the walk to the bus stop to catch the first of only two buses home. My taxi man was waiting outside. Apparently he'd been called to pick someone up - for about the 12th time that day! He said he was taking the guy to the city so he said he'd drop me home on the way. How nice was that?
I told him what I'd done of course and he said he'd kinda guessed I'd done something as he'd never been so busy! I warned him it would probably get changed back to the usual company but he doesn't mind. He just says he's happy he done a favour to a "good guy"!
I guess the moral is that "What goes around, comes around"? Have a great day peeps - try to do something good for someone and see what you get back.