Chinese lettering tattoos

I think there are too many. Why does everyone want a chinese character permanently scarred upon themselves? Especially as in most cases the "victim" has only the artists word as to what it actually says?

I'm thinking about setting up a tattoo studio in the new emerging china offering western tattoos. These are my potential offerings:

"I can't be bothered today" - Western symbol for "Contentment"
"Fuck - I'm UGLY" - Western symbol for "Enlightenment"
"I have sex with my mother" - Western symbol for "Family"
"Wanna fight?" - Western symbol for "Strength"
"I blow pigs and dogs" - Western symbol for "Animal Lover"
"Nuke everyone" - Western symbol for "Peace"
"Rare steak please" - Western symbol for "Vegan"
"Aussies are all convicts" - Western symbol for "I love Australia"

I reckon it'll be a go. So long as I dont base the shop in any one place for too long....

Zebras

Has any other blogger noticed that this "compose" page now tries to auto-complete as you type in the Title box? If I type "A" it comes up with all my post titles beginning A. Thusforth through the alphabet. I noticed that I have no posts beginning with a Z.

Until now. Yey! Z is ratified. No longer need Z feel left out.

I actually met with Z the other day and noticed he was looking kinda sad but it didn't twig why (Y?) at the time. I'm sorry Z, I hope this makes it up to you a bit. And I meant what I said about you being my favourite in Scrabble. Fuck those low value vowels, who needs 'em eh?

In your honour I'm now going zzzzz. It's probbly best since I'm a little pizzed.

It's been a long time coming

While I'm dwelling on the past I must tell you this story.

In 1995 I was living with a girlfriend that I knew wasn't the most faithful. We loved each other to pieces but we just had different lives and I knew things weren't going too sweet.

I was no angel at that time. I was in my early twenties and had plenty of life to live and fun to give. I'd just taken my first "real" job and was just beginning to live a "real" life. Naturally I done something really stupid.

My g/f was messing around so that made me think it was ok. Kind of. Can you guess what I done? Bet you cant....

I fell in love with one of her best friends. She was (is) very cute, caring, considerate. She had a partner. I had a partner. Didn't matter. It just happened. We were both VERY VERY confused. We both knew we loved our respective partners but we just kinda couldn't stop.

Anyhoo. On with a funny related story.

One morning I woke up with my g/f as usual. I went to work as usual. On the way I stopped at "other girl" place and done rude stuff. Then rocked up to work. My secretary just kinda sniggered at me turning up to work an hour late with shirt half buttoned...

About 11 I got a call from real (unfaithful) g/f asking to meet for lunch. I agreed, it was quite a common thing.

After the call I strolled out to our reception area and told secretary I'd be out for a couple of hours. She shit a brick and shouted "OH MY GOD! QUICK!" and chucked some keys at me. Confused, I asked what was going on.

She replied "You STINK of sex! If you meet your girfriend like that, you're done" The keys she'd thrown me were for her house which was just around the corner. I took the keys and went to her place to shower (Yeah, I know, I'm bad)

On the way back to work I had a thought. As I walked into the office I said "Hey, Laura! I may have smelt of sex but how come you knew it wasn't my bloody girlfriend?!" She just smiled and said "You looked way too happy mate"

She was the best secretary I ever had. And just for your information, yes, I'm still in contact with all peoples mentioned in this story. We've all grown up now though and dont have 3 girl 1 boy (Only Me ;-)!!! ) foursomes anymore. Hmm. As I said in earlier post, I must get back to my old self some more.

Has anyone noticed?

That my blog has gone to utter shit recently?

I'm sure you have.

And rather than be a whinging fanny I'm taking it as a cue to get my arse back into life. I used to enjoy telling y'all about the fun things that happen in my life. Just recently there hasn't been much fun.

And who's fault is that? MINE.

Life is what one makes it and I'm feeling guilty for not enteraining you by being my self.

I'm putting on the belt, I'm tightening the buckles, I'm about to hit my roller coaster again. Fuck this being sensible shit. It's SO BORING.

Awwww.

I think everyone has times in their lives when they are touched by an act of kindness or selfless action.

One such time for me was in 1992 when I had to make a trip from Southampton University, UK, to my home town by train. As I stood in the queue waiting to buy my ticket I got chatting to the woman behind me in the line. When I approached the booth I discovered the ticket was about 5GBP more than I'd expected it to be.

Luckily, despite being a very poor student, I had just enough money to buy the ticket. But it left me penniless. An hour later, while still waiting for the train I bumped into the same lady I'd been speaking to in the queue. I told her about the ticket price rise and we chatted until my train arrived. As I got up to board she said "I'm really pleased to have met you" and shook my hand.

As she shook my hand she forced 20GBP into it. I started to object and she just said "GO! PLEASE!" So I did. And I could buy a sandwich on the train. And get a bus from my destination to my home. I'll never forget that lady.

She taught me more in that afternoon than any educational establishment ever could. She taught me the importance of compassion. A lesson I've never, and never will forget.

Tomorrow I'll tell you what's inspired this, but in the mean time, get thinking. I'd like to hear some of your stories. When have you been made to feel really good by the decent side of human nature?

It's a happy time of year, lets share some good, heart-warming news....

How to be a bastard Part 384....

- Book a tattoo
- Turn up for tattoo procedure
- Undergo procedure (It actually tickles I found)
- When being told the "Post-tattoo care procedure" ask the artist with a perfectly straight face....


"So, how many weeks until this fades away?"

He he he....

Buggery

Due to unexpected weather conditions my outback trip has been rescheduled for next weekend. Bah.

Very brief, very rushed

I've done my alphalist! I totally stoked with it! Ready to post to everyone. Everyone has Kritmas cards and some people have a bonus.

Had a great few days, sorry for not posting.

Going on an adventure! I'm going outback!

Ute - check
20 Litres water - check
20 litres fuel in containers - check
sleeping bag - check
Shotgun - check
few packets of noodles - check
Cartridges - check
42" plasma with home entertainment centre - fuck.

Always forget something eh?

If you never here from me again I've been eaten by dingos. Most likely you will though. I'm reasonably prepared. Now where the fuck did I put that map?

Can't wait to go, have adventures, and tell you all about it in about 2 days.....

Go on son!

Breaking news in Aus: Authorities are questioning a man that's just "turned up" and claims to have no memory of the last 5 years.

That's one hell of a piss up. I have a new hero. If only he could remember his name...

It all went wrong but now it's good

I was planning to scan one more drawing I made in hospital. It was called "Pimp my bed". But I can't be arsed to drag out the scanner again. It's cool but you'll just have to take my word for it.

Down to business:

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR KIND WORDS. I was released from hospital last week (around the time I started scanning hopsital drawings) and to summarise:

- I was taken in for the same symptoms as September
- I underwent the same tests as September
- The Docs still had no idea what was wrong with me
- The hospital was shitter than September
- The Docs were more stringent and drooled at the idea of curing me when the other hospital hadn't
- They came up with a theory. It makes sense to me.
- I've got to go back for an operation soon but for now....

I'M FREE!!!!!

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I'm sure that all the loving feelings made their way to me and that's the only way I could recover so quickly and confuse the doctors yet further. You're all wonderful and you'll never be alone when you're ill cos I'll be there with you. I gladdly owe it.

It's impossible to feel alone with the love you guys send out. Thank you all.

Normal service will resume shortly, but I've just choked myself up a bit. Thank you again. My friends. x