Busy last day

Ummm. Where do I begin? Start of the day is logical I guess.

I woke up before the alarm went off. I showered, dressed and left hotel about 7. The plan was that S would stay in the hotel and pack up our shit and I'd tube to Heathrow and hire a car and drive it back to collect her for a day of exploring the southern counties.

I got the wrong tube. The northern line has two routes. I chose the wrong one because I'm a fuckwit.

I got to Heathrow on schedule despite my screw up. I chose a terminal at random and hired a car. It was only 9.15. Too easy. Ahead / on schedule.

Since I'd only have it for a few hours I decided to opt out of the "damage excess" waiver they always offer. I chose a car, I started driving towards hotel. Some punk on a bike has been knocked over so the police close the road and divert traffic.

Some idiot has hit a motorcycle on the diversion route. I'm diverted again.

Now I'm seeing signs that I'm 2 miles from congestion charging zone. That means I'm 2 miles from London central. My hotel is about 18 miles from centre.

Oh Mate! Well done you prick! Smash into another car and close this road too eh? Thanks bud! I love diversions. No, really, I do....I’m so happy that’s three already…

Oooooooh fuck. Now it's done. A fucking wanky shitty cunt has reversed into ME. I'm SO impressed.

Honestly, the only good thing about the incident is that S wasn't with me so she wasn't there to see me lose it. I was already stressed about being so late and so diverted. Add on top of that being reversed into by a wank that can't speak English in a hire car where you've just opted to not take the excess cover. Welcome to my Thursday.

I finally arrived at the hotel about 11. S was almost in tears worrying about me. I felt a shit.

We headed off nonetheless and after a couple of brief stops we managed to buy a "motor way map of the UK" which was enough for me to get my bearings to Stonehenge. We headed there and S took a picture of us I'm almost tempted to post. I quite like it. Something must have been wrong with her camera because it doesn't emphasise the "ugly fucker" side of me so much as most pics.

Then we cruised over to Avebury. We shouldn't have really as most sane people would have been heading for the airport. However, I really wanted S to see Avebury - I prefer it over Stonehenge. The visit was worth it and then we headed for the airport.

S, I'm sorry about my driving on that occasion, it was a "needs must" thing. I like to hope you didn't even notice? Traffic jams aside I had to keep it around the, ummm, high speed area.

We arrived at the airport on time. For the first time in my life we actually arrived before our flight had appeared on the checkin board.

Things we done:
Stonehenge, Avebury stone circle, contemplated the best makeup for covering up red paint marks on a hire car.