Triple take

Random ramblings of a British guy that's moved to Australia. And now back to UK.

Monday, August 08, 2011

Things To Do:

- Rename blog to Triple Take
- Let folks know the last year in summary
- Introduce the new set and cast
- Expose the world to lots more gibber that's too long and way under-appreciated as facebook status updates
- Go and eat nommy food from the fridge and then go to bed to consider what we've achieved here tonight.

In summary...

Saturday, December 20, 2008

I'm packing. Really I am. Gradually.

If you're anything like me you'll do anything to postpone the chore of packing. I've washed everything that can be washed. I've hoovered everything suckable (almost). I even finally checked out the direction of the water flow in Australia (It's 100% defo anti(counter)-clockwise)

New neighbours have moved in this morning, and they have already given me a "LOOK" kinda like you'd give something that's just climbed out from under a rock.

This could be cos I've been up all night thinking up good reasons to postpone packing. And to use everything possible from fridge and freezer I whizzed up some cuc, toms, chilis, teeny garlic and vodka to use up my basil ice cubes. Bloody maries at 7.30am? I am your man, man. Values!`

S is coming to take me to the airport shortly so I really must get on with packing that bag. And joy of joy, she's gonna kick my arse in Jan when I return. Why? Cos when she reads this she'll realise I was serious about not packing yet....

Speaks to ya all soon my preciousies. If you hear about a Qantas plane stacking en route to UK then please give money to your fave charity - flowers blow :)

Maybe give you's all an update from Singa, I'm sure something exciting will have happened by then.

Friday, December 19, 2008

You came, you saw, you waited.... be dissapointed with the wait.

I promised you photos to go with this story. As it's christmas I wont go back on my word. Consider it a gift. Sorry I couldn't get planned photo of victim with them in same shot. Look at these beauties and imagine them at A2 size......And the look on his face when he finally saw them.

I'm going to be dead famous

Guess what?!

I've had a sneak preview of Stick Steven 2008! And I'm a star in it! I actually feature in SS2008! The master artist Vuboq cas captured me perfectly, even down to the keg of beer I managed to buy while out looking for postage stamps. Ok, it wasn't a keg, but it was a tinny on steroids and really did almost reach waist height. And later added further waist girth.

So that's why I'm gonna be famous. And I'm gonna be dead cos:

Behold, as I present to you, before it's official release, Stick Steven 2008!

Scroll down, you know you want to be one of the lucky first.....

Well, a very little bit of it. Part of March in fact.....

Ignore Mush, she's just trying to get in on the glory ;) Look, she's not even got her ever present camera phone cos she just rushed over with her martini to get in on the action..... x

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The speaker phone wank

Our new cubicle land is split down the middle. Upon my insistance our half of cubicle land is not cubicles, we're open plan - I like to communicate when I'm not sleeping.

The other half of our domain is cubicled and the boss over there love taking calls on speaker phone. If he needs to piss he asks the caller to hold, transfers the call to his moby and puts THAT on speaker to resume his loud convo as he wanders the building.

My boss is too gutless to say anything even though all of us moan like buggery about it.

My boss is off this week.

I has resolved the problem. Photo's tomorrow me friends.....

Sunday, December 14, 2008


I am. I really fucking am.

Three reasons.

a) Earlier some dude tried to beat up on a chick outside my house which meant I had to get involved with the cowardly cunt

b) An ex from UK who was always pyscho has become even more so since discovering I'm returning over Kritmas. She's driving me fucking nuts with continual sms's.

c) The rep from body corp just came over at 4am and told me it wasn't expected for residents to be up at this time of day. Fucking E X C U S E M E!

All of the above are very lucky to not have snapped jaws. Cunts. Every fucking one of them.

Please leave alone and do not approach for at least 3 days or you may accidentally get it.


Saturday, December 13, 2008


I looked with some degree of disgust at the state of my bathroom floor last night.

"Why don't you clean more often?" I asked myself

"Cos you don't have a mop you ugly fucktard" I smuggly reply to myself

"Bullshit man, you bought one months ago and haven't actually taken it out of the ute yet have ya?" I argued back

Today at work they asked whether I could increase my weekly quota of hours. I dont actually have a drama with that. I do what I want, when I want anyway so a new peice of paper with more $ on the bottom is good with me.

Then the genius hit me:

"Oh. No problem. But 50 hours a week will leave me even less time for house work, washing, ironing etc...."

I can do bargaining. My cleaner starts upon my return in the new year. Woot!

Friday, December 12, 2008

meme thingy

Got bored doing the colour thing. Thanks Ms Dyko.

1. Who kissed you on new years?
Everyone that could.

2. Did you have a New Year’s Resolution this year?
Narp. Well. Yarp. To not break a New Year's Revolution. I've not turned around all year. Winner!

3. Does it snow where you live?

4. Do you like hot chocolate?
Narp. Spew.

5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
Narp. Not into watching balls dropping.

1. Who was your Valentine?
My palm

2. When you were little did you buy Valentine’s for the whole class?
Shit man, NO!

3. Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not?
I care so little an electron microscope could not picture the quark of care I have.

4. What did you receive for Valentine’s Day?
Ummmm. A bitchy sms

1. Are you Irish?
To be sure.

2. Do you like corned beef and cabbage?
Nah, hospital food sucks.

3. What did you do for St Patrick’s Day?
Cooked VUBOQ breakfast in bed.

4. Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
Shit yeah

1. Do you like the rain?

2. Did you play an April Fool’s joke on anyone this year?
Yarp. Daily.

3. Do you get tons of candy for Easter?
Narp. Spew.

4. Do you celebrate 4/20?
Man, what the hell is a 4/20? Is that like CB Radio code? "Control, we've got a 10-100 going on at 4/20" Control: "10-4 Wank 1, over out"

5. Do you love the month of April?
's right 'spose.

1. What is your favorite flower?
Lillies. Yes. Really. I have a special tool just for them.

2. Finish the phrase “April showers…”
"April showers....Get in on all the hot steamy action at"

3. Do you celebrate May 16th: National Piercing Day?

4. Is May anything special to you?
I'd be quite sad if I didn't see another.

1. What year did/will you graduate from high school?
I was flung from the gates in 1994

2. Did you do anything fun during this Month?

3. Have a favorite baseball team?

1. What did you do on the 4th of July?
Called C. It's his b'day.

2. Did you go to the fireworks?
Weren't any

3. Did you blast the A/C all day?

4. Did you go on vacation?

1 What was your favorite summer memory of ‘08?
It's just starting here

2 Did you have a sunburn?
Get real

3 Did you go to the pool a lot?

4 Were you ready for school at all?

1 Are you attending school?

2 Do you like fall better than summer?

3 What happened this month?
How long you got?

1 What was your last Halloween costume?
Jeans + T

2 What is your favorite candy?
One that is really useful. Swiss-army-candy. Or clockwork-phone-charger-candy.

3 What was your favorite thing(s) about this month?

1 Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving?

2 What are you thankful for?
Teh interwebz

3 Do you love stuffing?
Mate, more than you could imagine.

4 Anything special in this month?
Lots. If you dont have special things every day you're a waste of a skin.

1 Do you celebrate Christmas?
I celebrate the season.

2 Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe?

3 Get anything special last year?

4 What do you want next year?
Another year

5 What do you love most about December?
sep means 7, oct means 9, nov means 9, dec means 10. December is the biggest lying month of all. Woot.