My saturday on Death Mountain

Pic to left is rainforest. It's dark in that place hence the crap photo. Sorry about that.

It was TT's birthday on Saturday and we'd arranged a hire car. We had to to walk into the city to collect the car and by the time we got there I was desperate to pee. I know I'm a big boy now and I should have gone before we left - you don't need to tell me.

Anyways, there is a "Borders" book shop next door to the car hire place and it's a really well equipped bookshop. It has a cafe and toilets. I had my very satisfying pee and when I was done I washed my hands. I couldn't help but notice the guy who had been stood next to me at the urinal just left without washing his hands. Why do so many guys do that?

I dried my hands and when I left I went downstairs to find TT. The dirty non-hand-washy bastard was stood next to TT flicking through a book. He put it down and began to wander off. TT was about to pick up the book he'd just replaced and although I was still half a store length away I couldn't help but yell "No TT! Don't touch it! He didn't wash his hands after peeing!" TT turned round with dropped jaw and the bloke just shot me an incredibly evil look and bolted out of the door looking very red faced.

When I got to TT she tried to scold me but ended up pissing herself laughing.

We collected the car and I presented my British drivers license. The guy just groaned and said "uh oh. Hope you're not in a hurry, you need to fill in our longer form for a British licence mate - and I need all your passport details" I shrugged and offered my Texas US licence and Queensland Aus licence. He looked slightly bemused, shot a glance at the QLD licence, swiped my credit card and pointed, "Silver one there mate, keys are in it" I'm glad I got my licence last time I was here!

We hit the Pacific Highway and cruised southwards towards Tamborine mountain. According to a leaflet I picked up in Tourist information it's a town in the mountains with girly-appealing places to visit such as "Chocolate Kingdom", "Fudge Heaven", "Witches Cheese Factory" (TT likes cheese!), many wineries, galleries, craft shops, etc.

The drive to the mountain was great, it got more rural by the km and soon we were seeing Kuala bear warnings, kangaroo crossings, flood spots and other rural Australian things. When we got to the mountain there was a huge warning sign informing us that fatal accidents on the mountain road were frequent, so drive carefully.

It was easy to see why - the road was very steep, very windey, and it was easy to be distracted by the beautiful rainforest on both sides of the road. There were also somber reminders of how dangerous the road was though, with regular crosses and memorials by the side of the road.

At the top of the mountain the roads level out and it's like a tourist town in any other place. Getting out of the car the first thing we noticed was how cold it was. Because we were so high above sea-level the temperature had really dropped.

We went to "Chocolate Heaven" first. It was a bit of a shocker - it was about the size of our bathroom with a wrinkly old lady sat in front of a bench of hand-made chocolates. I was expecting something like Willy Wonkers Chocolate factory but in fact I'd brought more confectionary in the duty-free at Kuala Lumpur airport than she had for sale.

We then went to "Fudge Heaven" which was a short walk away. Once again, it was just a shop not a factory or anything. They had a section called "adult only fudge" which I expected to be filled with fudge fashioned into boy-bit shapes or boobs, but in fact just contained alcohol. Still, alcohol=good.

We went to a winery and I made sure the wench pouring out tasters knew it was TT's birthday and she gave her huge samples. She was half pissed by the time we left!

After lunch we went to find the waterfall. It was about a 1km walk through the rainforest and although the rainforest is beautiful, it's also a risky place. TT grew up in the rainforest and is no stranger to ticks, leeches, spiders, snakes, etc. It's odd to have a girlfriend with a bush awareness akin to Crocodile Dundee. She doesn't shave with a sheath knife or anything though...

We had one bit of excitement when a "thing" dropped and landed on my arm. It was only about 1cm long and looked like a very thin maggot. I thought it was a baby leech and immediately picked it off with my other hand, held it in the palm of my hand to inspect it. I yelled for TT to look and then it started wiggling frantically so I just shrieked like a girl and threw it.

The waterfall was great. Here's a picture. You're lucky it's not blurred because after TT's warning about standing still I didn't dare stop moving! You can click the picture to en-biggen it (cheers for that word VUBOQ!)

After that we headed home and as we were going down the windey mountain road we both gasped as a car filled with 18 yr old piss-heads roared past us in the opposite direction. 30 seconds later his mates came around a sharp bend on the wrong side of the road and almost rammed us off the road and down the mountain. I'm not particularly religious, but thank God for ABS!

If TT hadn't been so shaken up I would have turned the car around and given them an introduction to the great British tradition of "Giving a twat a smack in the teeth". I was still feeling a bit aggressive by the time we arrived home, hence this incident I wrote about yesterday.

After arriving home, TT felt ill, I think it was the shock of nearly dying on the mountain. She went to bed and I watched girl films on DVD. A good day all in all.