Are you sure that's safe? Is it healthy?

Do you remember me telling you about our health and safety guy at work? The one who has nothing better to do than remind us to check the colour of our urine? Well, he's struck again.

On Friday morning all employees received an email warning us that the fridge would be checked for "unmarked containers and biohazards" This guy loves drama.

We received this email today:

To: All Employees
Subject: It's enough to make you sick

These are some of the things we threw out of the fridges on Friday:

* rotten fruit and vegetables,
* mouldy bread and cheese,
* the remains of a roast chicken carcase more than a week old,
* two tubs of yoghurt three months past their use-by date,
* half a dozen science experiments in unmarked takeaway containers,
* two tubs of margarine with use-by dates of May 2005 and February 2005 (yes, that's right,– 2005),
* and the winner: half a pot of jam with an expiry date of 2004!

It's a wonder that no one has died as a result of extreme food poisoning.

That'’s enough biohazard to make all of us sick."

You can already anticipate my response can't you? Well, incase not, here it is:

To: All employees
Subject: Re: It's enough to make you sick

The fridge hasn't been checked since 2004? Is that safe? Is it healthy? I thought we had someone here responsible for Health and Safety? I'm very worried and don't think I'll be using that cesspit of disease to store my lunch anymore. I must confess to beingdisappointedointed.

Oh, and by the way, the mould in the microwave appears to be so well evolved I think it's about to go on a quest for fire. Perhaps that should be given some attention unless it's already formed its own defensive force?

Regards,

Only Me.

Strangely enough my inbox was flooded with comments such as

"Was your lunch the tasty looking tuna roll? If so, sorry for eating it."

"Once the bin bag wasn't changed on a Friday night and Monday morning there was all hell to pay"

"The health and safety in this place is bollocks. But we have to keep boring old men in employment somehow eh?"

"Our employees health and safety is paramount to our business. Your wellbeing is our primary concern....drivel, blah, drivel"

Guess which one was from health and safety man?