The Big Watery Thing

I forgot to tell you all about this. Just an example of why TT and I are such a good match for one another.

Picture the scene. It was my first day of work and in my usual uncoordinated manner I was rushing around trying to:

- iron a shirt [bastard iron! You're supposed to smooth it out, not crease the fucker!]
- feed parrot his brekkie [Screechy bastard! I'll get you some more banana in a minute you greedy sod!]

- cook TT her brekkie [Honey on that dear?]
- read the job requirement sheet to find out what I would be doing in my new post [You want me to work safely and courteously? Fuck off...]
- (and most importantly) trying to use the excellent Queensland Transport website to work out how the hell I was going to get to my first day of work. [Nothing like being organised is there?]

(I am the friend of chaos. I dislike organisation and routine. I obey the laws of thermodynamics faithfully. Jeez, you can tell I'm working again, I'm getting all sciency and nerdy.)

Anyhoos, QLD translink website is brill. It must have a really extensive database because you can type in your house number and it knows the nearest stop, best route and everything.

It chose a route for me which involved changing buses after the Victoria Bridge. "TT!" I shouted while chucking parrot food all over my newly ironed shirt - "Where the hell is the Victoria Bridge?!". I smelt burning toast and legged it through to the kitchen. Then realised it was burning carpet because the iron had fell over.

She was calmly brushing her hair looking at my laptop screen as I flapped and panicked trying to get everything done at the same time. The phone rang and I tipped coffee all over myself by trying to answer it with the wrong hand. I also managed to cut myself shaving so I was trying to hold a piece of tissue in place with my lips when I answered the phone - just as well it was a wrong number as they heard my muffled swearing through tissue at scolding pain in my chest from hot coffee.

TT calmly munched her toast and told me it was the one at the end of XX street. "Where's that?" I ask. She turned to me and said "Jay, there's only one bridge on your bus route - and it goes over Brisbane river. So when you notice your bus is on a big concrete thing over a big watery thing, that means you're on it. Press the dingly dingy thing there my love..."

I love my TT! She's the only person that would ever except the varied extremes of my personality. "Big wartey fing - do she fink I are stoopid?"