My very first whinge about new job. Well, wanker manager actually...

I really didn't want to bore you with this shit, but I must just share a couple of things.

The job is great. Very easy. Biggest problem is that my manager (yey! At last, I have a manager!) is a twat.

I suppose that's a good thing, because all managers are supposed to be twats. But having been the big manager for a few years I now realise that most managerial twattiness is not deliberate. I couldn't help being late for meetings, I couldn't help moving the goal posts, those both really classic annoying things, but I only done them when I'd had countless sleepness nights weighing up other options. Almost never for personal amusement. Unless the member of staff had been taking the piss by dragging out a head ache to take a week off, or something like that. Just as an example.

The reasons my manager is a twat (And I'm really chuffed at finally having my own manager to moan about!) are:

a) He can't speak English.
b) He knows almost nothing about database.
c) He turns up late for no reason

Lets look at these in more detail:

a) I'm NOT a racist, but it's long been my view that a minimum requirement for working in an English speaking country is an ability to speak the fucking language. It's so controversial I'm almost sorry about my own opinion on this one, but it really pisses me off when on the London Underground I go and try to ask a non-British employee whether I need the east or west bound line and they just look at me and shrug because they don't speak a word of English? At least make an effort guys? That would please me immensely rather than you just turning your back.

I suppose if I told them I'd just seen a man with a bomb, where is the nearest phone? - mobiles don't work in lots of stations - he would 80% most likely shrug and turn his back on me. This is honestly not a racist thing. I worked in France for a bit as a bartender once, and although I was good at my job I couldn't, at the time, speak the language 100% fluently. The locals wanted to chat with the barman, and I couldn't do it, so I quit. I couldn't speak the language - I didn't feel I could provide the service. Maybe I'm odd.


b) When I took on the contract I knew the specification requirements of the database - the rest of the team must have written them after months of trying to comprehend the wailing and exaggerated arm movements...

I designed it within one day and when I presented my plans to the rest of the team they whooped and applauded. My design addressed all the problems they'd been struggling with and was the perfect (and very simple) solution.

You could see that most of them were thinking "Why didn't we think of that?!" I know why pals....You had some twat gibbering non-english in your ear why flapping his arms around. He left me alone for the first day, and that's all it took!

Anyhoo, he came in towards the end of the meeting and made the whole team depressed by saying he wanted it done another way. I wont bore you with details but suffice to say I belittled him with statements such as "Your method would require storing 180000 records per month. Mine would store between 100 and 150. I don't quite understand why you want to do it that(your!) way?"

I'm the fucking expert being paid silly money to go in and sort out their problems! I was doing my job, very successfully until twat-face stuck his oar in and started flapping his arms and saying "I want SIMPLE! SIMPLE!" Well done dick face.

Luckily I remembered that I'm in a contract position, it's not my own company I'm dealing with. The customers aren't mine. I don't care! So I deleted the work I'd done and quite happily got on with doing it the way he wanted.

They've allocated two weeks for this task and I'm done. But don't tell them please. I've downloaded a load of ebooks I want to read.

c) Yeah, I know I said "when I was a manager I was always late....", but that was because I was dealing with customers and stuff. This guy actually has dealings with no one else. He just thinks because he's a manager he has a duty to be late, and that's the sort of manager that annoys me. He's a wannabe manager. He's flapped his arms and shouted gibber until they've given him a position and now he just does it to retain it.

I'm done now. As you can tell, I'm very happy in my new position. And yes, I am being honest! I love having someone to moan about - and it's good being well over $1000 richer after two days work. That's why I figured it wasn't worth having a heart attack over this guys incompetence.

It's not my problem, I'm probably earning more money than him, but I'm only paid to design database, not argue with wankers. That would require higher pay because I'm even better at that!

On a totally different note - couple of quick useless titbits of info:

- It's hot here. Who'd believe that Australia would be hot eh?

- TT is ill again. I think there must be a problem with her immune system or her job is really getting her down.

- The bus driver home tonight was a schizo. He loved some passengers, he hated others. Seemingly at random. I tried to spot a pattern but couldn't. He loved me though, which is suprising.

- Because of a slight hiccup in my visa process I have to leave Australia. I'm able to return immediately, but I have to leave within the next fortnight. So I'm going to have to fly to New Zealand, get passport stamped and then fly back. What a waste of a day eh?

- Our very own broadband has been delayed. There was a problem with the line and our exchange and they've got to send an engineer out to fix it on Monday. Soon my people, soon....

Have a great weekend y'all!