I done bad

TT came for a pre-arranged visit this morning. It was good to catch up. As she left I said "You take care Sarah....."

But I didn't use the name Sarah. I used the name of an ex girlfriend in UK. I don't know where it came from. I don't know how it happened. She knows it was the name of an ex. If looks could kill I'd be dead now.

I fully understand her "look".

I truly don't know how it happened, my brain just sent wrong word to mouth. I've been beating myself up about it all day. S and I went to cinema earlier and I started crying. But it was about my fuck up rather than the film. It feels like I've cheated on her or something. Yeah, even though we're not together any more.

This is the first time I've been sad since the initial break up period and I decided it was time to stop sooking. S brought me home from cinema on the grounds that "I've seen the way you've just been wandering with no concentration this arvo, you're not getting a bus...."

I'll post something more cheerful later. Sorry about this.

If I didn't have S looking out for me I'd be in a state. Thanks S. You're the best Aussie friend anyone could ask for.