Triple take

Random ramblings of a British guy that's moved to Australia. And now back to UK.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Brissy bums strike again....

I just decided to pop to the shops to get some spinach before they shut. On the way back I bumped into my ex-neighbour who was (unsurprisingly) entering a take-out food shop. We talked and I entered the shop with him. I spotted they had some kebabs. Not like donna kebabs, but good old fashioned meat and veg on a skewer type kebabs. I love those. So I bought the last two.

I finished chatting with my friend and then carried on my way. An extremely greasy and smelly bum shuffled towards me as I was crossing the car park. (How do they move so fast without visibly moving any limbs? Do they glide?)

He asked me for a smoke so I obliged at arms length. Then this happened:

Bum: "Hmmm. Can I have one of those?" [looks at my kebabs]

Me: "No! That's my dinner"

Bum: "But you've got two and I've got none"

Me: "I work loads of hours, you work none. Good night"

Bum: "Copulate away you fatherless female genitalia"

Well. He wasn't quite so eloquent. He actually said "Fuck off you fucking cunt bastard" but let's not split hairs eh? He didn't even thank me for the smoko...


6 Comments:

Blogger Two Cents said...

PMSL!!

9:53 am  
Blogger goblinbox said...

Bums are awesome!

I would have given him one. I mean, what if he turned out to be your long-lost uncle?

;-)

12:07 pm  
Blogger Only me said...

two cents: You're obviously too easily pleased or you love me. I'm happy with you either way

goblinbox: I'm 10000 miles from my family home, I'm sure he isn't a very lost uncle! If he was he would have greeted me with his curses rather than departed with them

11:53 pm  
Blogger Only me said...

OMG. I can't believe I just missed the opportunity to take the piss about a comment saying "I would have given him one." I must be tired.

11:57 pm  
Blogger Two Cents said...

Only me: A little from both columns of course ;)

10:08 am  
Blogger Only me said...

Two Cents: You're so sweet :)

3:43 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home