You think you know it all...Cardiff travel lodge=shit

Got to go to Wales today. Bah.

A delivery guy knocked on my door at 7am. Not only have I got to go to Wales but I also have to take a load of stuff there so work has hired a huge van/truck for me to take. I took the keys and drove to the office to collect all the stuff I needed to take to Wales.

The drive was pretty unevenful. We stopped at a service station and got caught up in a gangster funeral. Dont ask. Just dont!

We then met the strangest couple ever in Wales. We were stood in the reception of the hotel when the following occured:

Old Hag: [speaking to her old man husband] "You think you know it all, you do!"

Old Man: "I don't! I don't know anything!"

Old Hag: [Turns to TT and nudges her] "He thinks he knows it all, he does. But he doesn't know anything!"

Old Man: [turns to me and nudges] "I don't know it all! I don't know anything!" [Turns back to his wife] "You think I know it all but I dont!"

Hag: [nudges TT again] "See? He thinks he's clever but he knows nothing..."

Man: [nudges me]"She's mad. She thinks she knows everything, but she knows nothing. I know it all"

Me+TT: [Aaagh!] "Reception?! Please?!" [both rush to ding the bell thing]

We check in and we're given our room card (Card, not key - posh eh?)

5 minutes later we're still waiting for the lift. A bloke walks past and offers "That lift never works, stairs are much quicker..." Good eh? We take the stairs. We walk into our room. The first thing we both notice is a bright red used condom on the floor. Nice. We then notice a couple of empty vodka bottles on the bed-side tables. The TV remote control is missing. The TV refuses to turn on. A quick look in the bathroom reveals a huge turd in the bath.

I storm down to reception and demand immediate rellocation and reimbursement. This is TRAVEL LODGE btw. One of the Uk's leading hotel chains. I know they're "cheap and cheerful" but finding a giant turd in your bath is not cheerful. Neither are discarded condoms. By the time I used the stairs to get to reception (Don't forget, the lift is fucked) there had been a shift change.

The new staff spoke no english. Always handy, eh? After using sign language and a notepad to convey the multiple problems they suggested another room. I accepted and they tried to charge me again!

My only advice is NEVER stay at Cardiff Travel Lodge. Let me type that some more incase anyone does a search: Cardiff Travel Lodge=NO

I can't repeat enough,

Cardiff Travel Lodge=NO
Cardiff Travel Lodge=NO
Cardiff Travel Lodge=NO

Where don't you want to stay in a travel lodge? CARDIFF! That's right, well done.

Where don't you want to stay in Caridff? TRAVEL LODGE! That's right, well done you too...