Two classics from work

Our company is huge but our site only has between one and two hundred people at most times. All of these people have their own email address and of course there's also a group address for management / us to send messages to everyone.

I've only ever done this once. I sent a polite request asking to be involved in a car pool. I figure that's the kind of thing it's intended for. However, we've had a new receptionist start, and although she's a lovely girl, she's not overly well laced with common sense. Last week she sent a company wide email saying "Hi every one! Isn't it a lovely day?" in ghastly pink swirly letters.

Todays effort was even more spectacular though: "Can anyone sitting near a window see if I've left my car lights on? It's a white holden, rego... Oh! I can't remember! But if you see a white holden (or ford maybe?) with it's lights on, please let me know and I'll go and turn them off. Thank you!!!!!!" Classic eh?

As I walked around the office today whenever I saw an unattended PC I'd send her a message such as :

- "Your car lights seem to have come on again"
- "Could you tell the owner of a red van they've also left their lights on"
and my favourite one: "OMG! Your car has gone! Did you move it?!"

I'm such a child!

The other thing that was amusing today was that the Health and Safety guy I've mentioned before sent around a company wide circular too. He wanted to tell us that he's spent the last week working on an "Anti-fire ant policy" and that all pot plants including cactus, must be inspected by himself. If they were found to be ant free they would be awarded a certificate of immunity otherwise they would not be allowed into the new building. I love that one.

Once I'd stopped chuckling I went and found someones unguarded PC down in manufacturing and sent an email to the new secretary: "The H & S guy would like to see you with the mats out of your car. They must be checked for fire ants. Thank you for your co-operation" I wonder if she did or not? I know what I'd bet....!