Our Easer Friday

Why do they call it Good Friday? Cos we don't have to go to work of course! Yey for religion! I heard a really sick joke about easter today but it's so sick I wont repeat it here. I am a christian after all.

Anyhoo. Today we went out. We caught a train and bus combo to a place called Redcliffe. It's just to the north of Brisbane and it's very near to where tt actually grew up. She's always told me it's a horrible place with a high ratio of weirdos, crime and drugs. To be honest when we got on the final bus I was very tempted to agree with her.

The bus was very full and several grabbed my attention. Firstly there was "The angry lady". She was fantastic. I had to block my ears otherwise I would have spent the whole journey laughing. I'm so mean. It really wasn't her fault, she had some sort of condition, probably similar to turrets syndrome. She couldn't speak without sounding angry. She just put the vocal stress on all the wrong words. Loudly. Eg. "Look at that shop. ITS BRIGHT GREEN!!!", "When we get of the bus YOU MUST follow me", "Did you really forget to bring the sun screen? YOU'RE SO FORGETFUL!" I nearly pissed myself. Sorry.

The next was the "Ugly woman". I wish I had a photo. But she would have broken my cameraphone. She was about 50, the same colour as a radish and if she'd been about an inch taller she'd have been perfectly round. She had some sort of skin problem. Have you ever seen a 50 yr old woman with acne? I have. Finally, her nose was about the same size as the average persons shoe. I know they say some people have a face that only a mother can love but that's not appropriate here. I think her mother was so frightened she probably fed her with a catapult.

Then there was the annoying Chinese man. He spoke loudly on his mobile for the whole journey. Very loudly. Like shouting. And he kept pressing the bell thing to stop the bus. Each time he pressed it the driver would pull over, he'd look at the street and then shout something in chinese. The driver would grunt and continue driving. He was annoying.

Finally (I'm almost done whinging) there were a bunch of slappers. About 5 girls all around 13. If you'd taken their "skirts" and sewn them together you might almost have made one normal sized one. Honestly, they were belts. I don't mind girls in short skirts, in fact I rather like them, but not when they're 13. Do they have parents?! Fuck. I must me getting so old. I sound like my dad.

I managed to refrain from laughing the whole we way and we finally arrived. My first emotion after getting off the bus was an impressed one. I'd been expecting the place to look like my old home town. Eg. Shit. It was actually rather nice. We went to a cafe and had some breakfast. Then we headed off to find the festival we'd actually come for.

All in all it was definitely a decent day. The thing that probably made me laugh most was a food stall: "Authentic Peruvian and Bolivian dishes". As if! Can you believe that?! My excitement was shortlived. They didn't even have any roast guinea pigs. I asked the stall holder if his food would give me Salmonella. He said no. I asked if it would give me the shits. Again he said no. Jeez, has he never even been to Peru? He didn't even try to pick my pocket me or anything. Weirdo. How can he sleep at night calling that "authentic"?

Oh. The other thing that I laughed about was the sky diving easter bunny. How could I forget? Only in Aus could they find that sort of thing normal. Basically they got a guy to put on an oversized (about 7ft unless he was really very tall) bunny costume. Then they pushed him out of a plane above Redcliffe beach. When he finally floated down he probably wished he hadn't. He was immediately swamped by about 500 kids. I found it very amusing.

After that we headed home. We then realised that TT had got sunburnt. She now has a ridiculous tan pattern consisting of bra straps, singlet straps and bag straps. I call her the stripe queen. The only plus side is that I get to rub in after-sun lotion. No complaints from me...