Surreal experience

Today we were collected from the hotel by tut tuts. I think that's what they're called anyway. Those tricycle taxi thingies favoured in third world countries? The ones that look about as safe as Zeppelin with an oversized cargo of TNT in a thunderstorm? Yep. We took one of those from the hotel to the port. At the port we disembarked to buy rice, tuna and bread. Why? Because we were on our way to meet (and stay with) some local Indians. The food gift was the tour guides recommended way of ensuring we weren't killed and eaten during the night by our host families.

Completely unsurprisingly Mo decided that protein, fibre and carbohydrate was not a healthy way to sustain the human body and she decided that her family would like a bag of Mangos instead. Yes, I'm serious. Imagine my reaction when whilst climbing aboard the boat there was a sudden splash and a yell as the bottom fell out of her plastic carrier bag dumping the precious fruit into Lake Titicaca. Laugh? No, of course I didn't. I fucking pissed myself.

Our first stop was a place called Taquile island. It's probably one of the most remote places I've ever been to. The island is a self ruling community. They have no police force. The people live to survive. There is no industry at all, everyone just produces what they need.

After having a look around we got back on our boat and headed for Amantini. The island where we were going to stay with our Indian families for the night. On the way our guide gave us a crash course in the local language. Most of Peru speaks Spanish, but this place has it's own totally unrelated language. I don't have my crib sheet with me as I write this but believe me, the word for "Thanks" is something like 20 letters long. It's something like "AMARATINYAKAKICULA" and that appears to be a fairly standard word according to the sheet.

We managed to strike gold on the island. The family we were staying with were basically the chiefs of the place. They had the best house and get this, A REAL TOILET! Admittedly it had no running water and flushing involved pouring buckets of water down it, but nonetheless it was probably the only "real" toilet on the island. And we were also given our own room which is definitely the height of Amantini luxury.

About half an hour after arriving our host told us that it was traditional to play football with the locals and look us along to the town square. All the other tour members were there too and hence I didn't feel at all guilty about not joining in the footy. Instead I treated my host to a beer. Yes, even in Amantini I managed to find the only bar. After an hour or so we headed back to the house and then we were served dinner.

It was a surreal experience. You must remember that this place has no electricity and no running water. The kitchen was a dark smoky ghetto. There was a clay oven/fire at one end and some logs to sit on. The only light was from the fire and a couple of candles.

We were served vegetable and pasta soup from carved wooden bowls. Then we had a bean curry not unlike my own favourite dish. For dessert we had some sweet gloopy stuff. I’ve no idea what it was. The whole lot was delicious. My taste buds were a little numb though, my brain was overawed by the experience.

An hour later our hosts produced some local clothes and gestured us to change into them. The place was cold so we didn’t need to be asked twice. We then realized that it was not actually a gesture of kindness (though it was!) but in fact a preparation for attending a fiesta in the village.

By torchlight we staggered back down the hill to the village centre. A local band turned up and the women grabbed men to lead the dances. Yep. The women grabbed the men. For the first time ever I actually want to publish a video on here. Me being dragged to dance. It’s “must see” entertainment.

We left after a couple of hours as a storm was beginning to break. Going to sleep in cosy, albeit shocking, “rustic surroundings” with a torrential rain storm breaking overhead is an experience that cannot be described. If I’d died on that bed I would have died a happy and content man.