Over-rated pasties. Dancing naked around erections. And yes, I do have condoms, thanks.....

Ever been to "The Dungeons"? Pay a fortune to be ripped off! In fairness (and retrospect) it wasn't that bad I suppose. It had it's moments, but I like to create "moments" whenever I get bored....

We started the day out with our hosts having Cornish pasties. The pasties were a let-down. They weren't actually bad, just a bit disappointing when your host has been telling you for 3 hours that we're going to walk 2 miles to get "the best food in the world" and then you queue for about 20 minutes, get told your first 4 choices have sold out, and then get something worthy of a motorway service station...I'm such a whinger aren't I?

Being daylight and all, we couldn't help but notice everywhere the adverts for "York Dungeons". My friend and host, who lives in York said he'd heard reasonable things about the place so we decided to go. The posters promised two-for-one admission for adults on weekdays so we decided it had to be worth it.

They refused to give us the offer. Some pathetic excuse like it being limited to the first 20 visitors of the day, and there were only two other bored looking "victims" already in there! It's really designed for kids more than us childish adults but it certainly has it's moments.

One funny aspect is the way that you're shown around by characters from the day and age of the room you happen to be in. For example, we went to a room about witches and how the English used to do that ducking stool thing. (A suspected witch was basically held underwater in a pond for about 5 minutes or something. If she was still alive when she came out, they knew she was a witch and burned her. If she was dead they recognised their error, made a public apology, and moved onto the next lucky suspect....)

In that particular room was an actor man playing the part of "witch accuser". He picked on tt and accused her of "dancing naked around massive erections in the forest". Poor girl, accused of being a coke head last night, and now dancing around giant erections. Nice welcome to the country eh?!

The next room was something to do with grave robbers and vampire rumours. The actor in that room pounced on me and snarled into my face "You! Do you have protection?!" Unfortunately for him the four of us had just been making a joke outside about safe sex and I still had a packet of condoms in my hand in my pocket. He must have thought we'd planned it as I instantly produced a packet of Durex to his question

We said our good byes and headed for Edinburgh. After a couple of hours in the car and then hitting the traffic in Newcastle we didn't feel like driving much more and stopped at Morpeth.

I've only every stopped here once before and that was about 18 months ago. I spent my whole evening writing to tt. Now I'm here with her. I'm still the happiest man in the UK. And not smoking is just as easy as I thought it would be with her by my side.

I guess we'll get to Edinburgh, or maybe further, tomorrow...oh, and I really should mention scampi fries at this point, maybe remind me another time eh?

Woke up: York
Going bed: Morpeth
Done: 100 miles - but we had a nice time not driving!